Understanding Narrative Therapy to Sideline the Self-Critic.
This month’s blog is the third one in a series about self-criticism, the inner critic and how this impacts on our confidence and wellbeing. Each month I’ll take a look at the way different therapy modalities deal with the inner critic when it shows up. This month we look at Narrative Therapy.
Narrative Therapy for the Inner Critic: Rewriting the Story of Self-Judgment
We all have an inner critic—the nagging voice in our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. This inner dialogue can shape our self-perception, influencing our confidence, relationships, and overall well-being. But what if we could change the story? Narrative therapy offers a powerful way to externalize and reshape our relationship with our inner critic, creating a new narrative that fosters self-compassion and growth.
Understanding Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy, developed by Michael White and David Epston, is based on the idea that our identities are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. Instead of seeing problems as internal flaws, narrative therapy helps individuals view them as external forces that can be examined, questioned, and rewritten.
By separating ourselves from negative self-beliefs, we gain the freedom to challenge and transform them.
Externalizing the Inner Critic
One of the key techniques in narrative therapy is externalization—giving the problem a name and identity outside of ourselves. Instead of saying, “I am too self-critical,” you might say, “The Critic has been especially loud today.” This shift allows us to see the inner critic as something separate from our true selves, making it easier to address.
Try these steps:
Personify the Critic: Give it a name, a persona, or even a visual image. Is it a grumpy teacher, a judgmental relative, or an overly cautious protector?
Identify Its Voice: When does it show up? What does it say? Recognizing its patterns helps diminish its power.
Challenge Its Authority: Ask yourself, “Is this voice telling the truth? Where did I learn this message? Do I have evidence to the contrary?” Often, the critic is operating on outdated beliefs.
Rewriting the Narrative
Once we’ve externalized the inner critic, we can begin to rewrite our story in a way that empowers us:
Highlight Your Strengths: Shift the focus from perceived failures to personal resilience and achievements.
Develop Alternative Stories: Instead of defining yourself by past mistakes, create a new narrative based on learning, growth, and self-acceptance.
Find Supportive Voices: Surround yourself with affirming perspectives—through friends, mentors, or even journaling—to counterbalance self-criticism.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
The ultimate goal of working with the inner critic isn’t to silence it completely but to change how we respond. Narrative therapy encourages self-compassion—treating ourselves with the same kindness we’d offer a friend. Recognize that self-doubt is a universal human experience, and growth comes from acknowledging our struggles without letting them define us.
Conclusion
Your inner critic doesn’t have to dictate your story. Through narrative therapy, you can step into the role of author, choosing self-compassion over self-judgment. By externalizing the critic, challenging its messages, and embracing a new perspective, you create a more empowering and affirming narrative—one where you are worthy, capable, and enough just as you are.
If you are curious about Narrative Therapy and how it might be of help to you, feel free to contact us here at Rhizome Practice.
